martes, 24 de noviembre de 2015

Turning 30

I've never been too keen on celebrate or remember dates. I have eternal fights with close friends and family when we have to celebrate Christmas, New Year’s and Birthdays ... When I turned 10 I don’t remember what I did. When I turned 20 it was one of the most wretched day of my life. When I turned 25 was just another day. I have no idea why hitting 30 has had a significant (mental) meaning so important but it is what it is.

This year hasn’t been a great year. I discovered that I have an autoimmune disease that will be with me for the rest of my days, and with that it makes two of those.  A dear friend died in august, I can’t get over that loss. Also nearly two weeks after my paternal grandfather died, which also I still can’t get over that loss either.

But this year I also achieved some goals, I met new people who had different perceptions about me, I was able to demonstrate that appearances are deceiving.

In the last decade lots of things happened to me. I went abroad for the first time completely alone, for some it may be common or not so surprising to travel alone but for me it was an experience that changed my perception of the world. I loved and my heart was broken a few times. My best friend and I pulled apart and another friend screwed me over. I studied 3 majors (currently finishing the third ... the other two were just to kill time.) I learned several life lessons. Lived, loved, learned.
I have the virtue, or in some cases the disgrace of having very good memory. 

My family is always surprised that I remember idiotic details of certain situations or moments that marked me in some way. I can honestly say that I remember each and everyone of the people I’ve met in my life. All marked me in some way. All taught me something: to care, to love, to mistrust, to be careful, to open up, to close up, that not everything revolves around you, that even having defects you are important to someone at certain times of need. The good thing is that every one of those who I have loved and care in my life I have said to them my feeling and they have known that they were/still are important to me.

I don’t know if you kept reading this, but but if you did... there’s a story I want to tell you. I've been thinking about this for over a month, when I met a former classmate who had just turned 30. I asked him “how do you feel?” And he said, "The strangest thing is that you start to look back, the things you've done and the things you want to do next" and that has happened to me this month ... I think about the things I've lived and where I want to be next. Instances that have changed me for the better. Many of my dreams are difficult to achieve, but that is not going to keep me of not dreaming them. I have to keep living for those who weren’t  able to continue doing it so. Keep the dream alive.

Those who know me know that almost by nature I am extremely pessimistic, but there has always been an optimistic side, a light that has kept me doing things. I'll never forget the day when I showed my grandfather pictures of my trip to Europe. His eyes lit up when he saw them, he was happy to see that I was there, that I achieved a dream of mine and I could live through me also. I want to continue, even though some days look gray. Not everything is perfect, right?

Thanks for your attention.

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